Why Matrescence Feels Like a Slow Unraveling—And How We Find Ourselves Again

Why I’m Creating a Matrescence Group Coaching Cohort

I thought I’d know when I became a mother. That there would be some kind of aha moment—a flipped switch, a rush of intuition, a sense of stepping into something I was always meant to be.

I thought motherhood would feel like an arrival.

Instead, it felt like a dissolving.

No one told me that matrescence—the transition into motherhood—wasn’t just about adding a child to my life, but about the slow, sometimes painful destruction of the person I used to be. I wasn’t prepared for the disorientation, the identity crisis, the way every part of my inner world would shift. I expected to change, yes—but I didn’t expect to grieve. I didn’t expect to feel unrecognizable to myself.

And I definitely didn’t expect it to last this long.

I assumed that after the newborn phase, after the fog of sleeplessness lifted, I would adjust. I thought this was a transition with an endpoint—a moment where I’d finally feel settled, solid, sure. But here’s what I’ve learned:

Matrescence isn’t a phase. It’s not something you “get through.” It’s an evolution that never really ends.

The world prepares us for pregnancy, for labor, for feeding schedules and sleep regressions. But no one prepares us for this—for the years (or maybe decades) of untangling, rebuilding, reimagining who we are. For the quiet reckoning of realizing that motherhood doesn’t erase our own needs, our own ambitions, our own becoming.

A Space for the In-Between

I created this coaching cohort because I know what it’s like to feel lost in the in-between.

To love your child fiercely while also mourning the version of yourself that no longer exists.
To crave clarity about who you are now but have no idea where to begin.
To feel exhausted by the tension between what you want and what you think you should want.
To wonder if you’re doing it wrong—if everyone else has figured it out but you.

This is a space to lay it all down. To pause and name what this transition has meant for you. To reconnect with your values and begin moving forward—not back to who you were, but toward the person you are becoming.

It’s not about “bouncing back.” It’s not about fixing or forcing or rushing the process. It’s about having a space to reflect, to question, to find clarity in community with others who get it.

If any of this resonates, I hope you’ll join us. Because matrescence isn’t something you’re meant to navigate alone.